Sunday, April 19, 2009

anniversary fail (again)

Yesterday a polite, well-dressed Haitian man asked me to pee in a cup. It was not his fault this was the most interesting thing that happened on my 11th wedding anniversary; Monsieur Leblanc was just doing his job. Glen and I recently decided to increase the amount on my life insurance policy, so the insurance company sent someone to give me an ersatz physical and ask a lot of impertinent questions about my health history. Incidentally, some of those questions are almost impossible to answer. Have I ever undergone a diagnostic procedure such as MRI, CT scan, etc.? Well, sure, I've had at least one ultrasound every time I've been pregnant. Also I'm pretty sure they X-rayed my wrist when I broke it in 5th grade. And what were the dates of those diagnostic procedures? Uh ... maybe I should have studied for this.

Anyway, at the end of the exam/questionnaire session, I had to sign and date a document stating that I had answered the questions truthfully. As I wrote "4-18-09" on the line, I realized that it was my anniversary. As unlikely as it seems, we've managed to lower the bar for anniversary celebrations once again. At this rate, I almost expect that one of us will spend our anniversary in the hospital next time.

After M. Leblanc had departed with my vital stats and bodily fluids, I asked Glen if the date was indeed the 18th. He checked his watch and said yes. Just for fun, I waited another eight hours or so before I reminded him why the date should be of interest to him. We're both so tired from staying up with the baby at night that I doubt we'd have done anything to celebrate anyway, even if we had remembered sooner.

(Read about last year's anniversary fail here.)


prism said...

Don't worry. It will get better. Hang in there.

Victory said...

You, um, could put it in your email calendar.

Besides, the only thing either of you wants right now is sleep, right? That's kind of hard to gift.

Prism's right. It will get better. I think.

Nicole said...

ha, that is truly unreal.

side note: i like that the pee-in-a-cup guy had such a fancy name. it just adds dignity to the whole process, no? :)